They are jokes that I already known in Frensh and I translated to English;so,I hope that you can get the meaning:
1-What is the difference between an accident and a disaster?
If your mother-in-law is drowning: it is an accident.
If you safe her: it is a disaster!!
2-It is a story of a moslem man who wanna get married a very beautiful lady from German.His only condition is to believe and practice islam religion such as :fasting,praying..etc.The lady accepted these conditions but when they get married,the lady found difficulties to fast which pushed the husband to divorce.But before divorcing,the husband invited El Imam in his house maybe he could change her wife's mind.At his arrives,this beautiful lady opened the door for the Imam.She was so beautiful that the Imam said to the husband: listen my son,Ramadan comes and leaves but if this beautiful lady leaves it is forever!
3-A kid asks his father:Dad,who gave me my intellegence?The dad answer:it is your mom certainly because me I have already mine.
4-A teacher demand to his students:
students who think that they are bad worker stand.
Two minutes after,a girl stood
The teacher:You think really that you are a bad worker!
she answered:No,just It hurts me in my heart to see you standing alone.
5-A guy discusses with his friend:
It goes badly these days, my wife spends her evenings to make the tour of the bars of the city.
-Is she an alcoholic ?
-No,she looks for me.